Recently I read a post by Julie on this topic and it inspired me to piggy back on it and write my own. The Comparison Trap is something that many people, especially women, find themselves falling into. I, myself, have often found myself stuck in this negative cycle many times. The good news is, there’s a way out and a way to stop falling into it.
In this day and age with everyone publicizing their lives everywhere you look, it’s easy to get caught up in thinking that you’re not measuring up to your peers. Facebook, Twitter, and especially blogs have given people the opportunity to let the world know of all the, seemingly great, happenings in their lives. After reading news feeds, updates, and in-depth blog posts, I have found myself thinking, “Wow, they are doing so well”, or “I wish I could be as happy as they are”, or “I can’t believe how good she looks. If only I could look that way”. This is common, but being involved in social networking doesn’t have to make you feel bad about yourself. You know what, you’re a great person too! The thing to remember is, we’re seeing people at face value. People post the things they want you to see. So, it’s easy to romanticize that someone may have a better career, relationship, house, life, etc, but, many times things aren’t always as they seem. The person that you may think has a great career may actually be stressed out of their mind, the person you think has the perfect relationship, may, in fact, fight all the time, and the person you think seems to have things all figured out in life, may be battling a serious illness. The point is, we just don’t know what goes on behind the updates and the same thing goes for when we are out in public. There have been many occurrences when I have felt good about myself leaving the house only to walk into a place and feel like the dumpiest person in there. Women who are prettier, more slender, better dressed, etc, leave me with feelings of doubt and insecurity. Well stop that! You know what? There are tons of women in that same place, feeling the same thing about themselves when you walked in. It’s true. What you see when you look at that other woman and begin to compare yourself to her is only the outside, just like when you compare yourself to others’ lives on Facebook. Remember that old saying, “don’t judge a book by its cover”?
So embrace who you are and remember the great qualities that make you…you. You are an amazing and talented individual and the more you compare yourself to others, the less you will be satisfied with yourself. This is also why I recommend journaling. Taking time every day, or every couple of days, to write down and reflect on your own life can help you see all the good that you have to offer.